QUARTERLIFE FUNK.

Oh yeah. I wish I could just burst into a musical number and be awesomely fine after. But it doesn't work that way. I'm out of job. I'm broke. I'm single.

Life should be miserable but mine goes the other way. Well, it should. I'm not the wallowing girl anymore. Yes, I know how to move on and let go more quickly lately.

I don't want to look or sound pathetic. The thought of being one is so sickening I want to puke all over the place. But all I have now is my pride and a little of badassness, too.

I could work with that. I should get my ass moving.

Yeah, I know this year's gonna be epic 'coz I think 2009 and 2010 suck ass.

Quarterlife Funk or Crisis or Dilemma or however you may wanna call it but Imma get over you and make you kiss your own ass.

Let's make it happen, 2011!

 I never knew such evil until I met you.

Chareeeng.

TOO LATE.

 Do you know what scares me shitless?

My OPTIMISM.

I'm too positive, it's frightening.

Word of the day: LULL

A temporary calm, quiet stillness.

I'M IN A LULL NOW.

Huwag na nating ipilit ang mga bagay-bagay. Ok na ko. Ok ka na rin. Hindi na talaga puwedeng ibalik yung dati. Masyado ng maraming nabitawang mga salita, mga matatalas pa nga.

Casual na lang. Nag-eexist ka. Nag-eexist ako. Ganun. Isang mundo lang naman ang kinikilusan natin.

Pero baklaan? Wit.

Ang hirap ng mag-invest ng emotion. Ang hirap ng mag-invest sa friendship. At huwag naman nating i-deny, ang hirap magpanggap na ok na ang lahat kung nasa harapan natin pareho yung lamat. 

Kaya huwag na. Masaya na ko. Masaya ka na. Makuntento na tayo nang ganito. Ok naman di ba?

Huwag na nating ipilit. Darating din ang panahon na magiging sobrang ok tayo. Hindi lang talaga ngayon.

Feeling ko malas talaga ako as a person.

Malas sa raffle.
Malas sa bingo.
Malas sa pageants.
Malas sa projects.
Malas sa trabaho.
Malas sa pag-ibig.

As in feeling ko, ipinangananak ako sa mundo para makaranas ng malas. At ngayon, nagtataka ako kung bakit kinakaya ko pa ang mga kamalasan ko sa buhay. Eh buti na lang, medyo masuwerte ako sa pamilya at friends kahit lahat sila ay may some slight tama sa utak.

Feeling ko sa sobrang enthusiastic ko sa mga bagay kaya ako binibigyan ng bad vibes. Pero feeling ko isa lang itong napakalaking PLANTING sa storya ng buhay ko para sa bandang dulo may napakagandang PAYOFF in the future.

Binibigyan lang ako ni God ng malas ngayon, para in the future isang napakagandang suwerte ang makuha ko.

Oo. Enthusiastic pa rin ako. Naniniwala pa rin ako na:

mabubunot ang pangalan ko sa raffle
tatama rin ako sa bingo
hindi pa rin ako mananalo sa pageants pero yung naayusan ko ang mananalo (haha)
magkakaroon ako ng award-winning project
makakahanap ako ng perfect job
at dadarating ang perfect man.

Well, sana, dahil enthusiastic pa rin ako.

I really have a big decision to make.

I have to leave something I love which still treats me like crap for something new which could give me greener pastures.

I've been asking God for signs. He already gave me two. First, my project's got delayed. Second, I asked Him to give me a sign and He stopped MRT operations right there and then. It seems like the One up there wanted to keep me from going to work.

But my mind's still clouded with this illusion that this something would love me back.

I wish God could give me strength and courage to make that decision, to take that leap. I leave it all up to You, my dear friend.